This is going to be a morose entry.
This is going to be one of those entries that seemingly should have been written by an overly emotional teenager, angry at life, shouting at nothing in particular because his or her life sucks and because everything is going poorly and nothing is going their way.
I just wanted to give you fair warning so that if you wanted to avoid reading an entry such as this you can click-away. You can go to Facebook and raise a cow, or go to Twitter and see what Justin Bieber just had for lunch, or you can go to Fox News and learn how to be a small-minded bigot.
Seriously, no one is forcing you to stay here and read this. So if you'd rather not read a middle-aged man perform the digital equivalent of crying into his beer then leave now.
Still here? Well... don't say I didn't warn you...
I've had it...
Yes, dear reader, I've fucking had it....
I'm pretty much done with this world.
Not-yet 40, and I've already peaked.. years ago. It's not coming back, you and I both know it. I'm not talking sexual peak, because I recently impregnated my wife (go me), which is something I've never done before with anyone. The shear machismo of the act is actually impressive, but I wont go into it here. Trust me when I say that it's the stuff of legends.
I'm also not talking mental peak, because I can honestly say that I know more today than I've ever known in the past. I'm more confident in my abilities to perform mental labor than I ever have been, and that's saying something.
I wouldn't even say I've physically peaked, although I'm certainly not in the shape I was when I was younger. I'm confident that the only thing separating me from the buff and svelt body of my youth is the fact that I don't spend the time that I used to on such things.
No, when I say I've peaked I mean I've peaked from a career perspective. I honestly and earnestly believe that it's all downhill from here.... And that is a wholly depressing thought. That is the sort of thought that can keep a man like me awake at night with worry. That is the sort of thought that can drive a man mad with anxiety and tension, and make him nervous, forgetful, and altogether unable to cope.
That thought is a cancer.
It eats away at your very essense, destroying your core until there is nothing left. It leaves you hollow and devoid of ability. It saps your resolve and drains your spirit and makes you impotent.
It can take a confident man, and destroy him.
