I am teh sexah

Sam Hart

2009-02-24 19:37:06

My ex-wife hated my beard. This was unfortunate for her because I had a beard for many years while we were married. I had a beard partly because shaving bothered my skin, and partly because I was at the U of A Physics Dept. and everyone had beards.

My current wife, Jessica, likes my beard. She likes me with long hair and a beard... has something to do with her attraction to hippies, I'm sure. However, now I've actually discovered a shaving method that doesn't aggravate my skin (I use a Merkur with shaving soap and a brush which only sometimes results in accidents), so I find I'm actually shaving more often than I used to (much to my wife's chagrin). I primarily stick to a Van Dyke (often incorrectly labeled a "goatee"), so I usually still have some facial hair. But every once in a while I get sick of it and shave it all off and start with a clean slate.

Well, today, I decided to play a little trick on my wife and see if I can find a facial hair type that even she wouldn't like. In the last few months I remember reading something about a "neckbeard", which is a beard so odious that it seems universally disliked.

Naturally, I had to have one.

(Read on for more)

Behold! The Neckbeard!

Before we begin, let me show you what I looked like before shaving so you can get an idea of the contrast.

The before shot

Then, after some finagling in the bathroom at the mirror, I managed to get my version of the neckbeard:

Sam's friggin' sweet neckbeard

Here is the side shot:

Side shot of the neckbeard

Here is the shot sans hat. I like how the impending baldness combined with the neckbeard frames my face like some sort of very sad lion's mane:

Hello, ladies

And some miscellaneous action shots:

Rarr! I've a neckbeard!

Cor blimey! I've a neckbeard!

The lovely neckular region

Anyway... here's hoping my wife doesn't see this page before she comes home :-)